Sleep cages!

It doesn't look like I posted about this last summer when I bought them, but due to the fact that I am living in an apartment and wanted to not get kicked out due to the parrots awakening with the sun, I bought them sleep cages.  Their normal cages are too big for me to properly cover, so this was my solution.

I was a little worried about how they would take to them, but they all love them!  I was also a little worried about putting them together myself, but I am discovering new skills of assembly I never had to use before.

Since they each get a cashew before bed, after they go into their sleep cages, Max will actually climb down and go into hers by herself.  She also knows to open the door on the caiques' cages (I don't latch them when they are unoccupied) to see if either caique left some cashew uneaten.  Occasionally, she is rewarded for this thoroughness.

Here's Beeps:

Max:

And Calypso:

I cover them, so it's dark, which allows me to keep things quiet until I wake them up.

During the day, when they are out with me, they like to play on the cages.  Calypso spent quite a while trying to rip up the cage paper through the grate today.  The reason I went to grab my camera is that Beeps actually went into this cage with Calypso on top.  I had hoped to get a picture of that, but he'd flown back to his cage by the time I returned with the camera.

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In unrelated news, the offer I put in on the house was accepted!  The inspection is on Wednesday May 1, and if all goes well, I will be the owner of a fabulous Victorian -- my dream house -- by June 15.  I'm going to try to remember to take some pictures on Wednesday so I can post them here.

This is all so exciting.  I can't wait to have a guest bedroom.  And, my dad asked if I would be interested in brewing beer with him once I have a house.  That's a hobby that Thomas and I shared, and I'd given it up once I was alone.  Now that I'll have a bigger kitchen, I can't wait to brew with my dad!

After-work routine

The past few weeks, I've started a new after-work routine with the parrots that we've all come to enjoy.

In my small apartment, I don't have enough room for them to be in a common living room, as they were in my house, which means that they have their own bedroom.  This isn't ideal, as they don't get as much ambient attention when I'm doing things, unless I make it a point to get them out.  Having them all out at the same time in a room without their cages can be tricky, as they start posturing and starting fights.  I need to be on high alert at all times.  This means that I usually rotate parrots (Max and Calypso together; Beeps separately, since he can't get along with anyone) who are out with me.

Once I have a house again (crossing my fingers; in a few months if inventory improves!) they'll be in a common area again so this won't be an issue.  Each bird respects the others' cages, so they can all be out with light supervision.

That was some wordy background!

I have moved a comfortable chair into their bedroom, and I sit there and read for at least an hour while they play.  This reading isn't always the most productive, as they frequently want to interact with me, so my book gets postponed.

I took a few pictures of Calypso's march to attention.  He starts by hanging off of his cage door, to be as close to me as possible.  And super cute, as well.

After a few head scratches, he moves around the same level as I am, making kiss sounds and whistling.  (He continues to be the most photogenic parrot I have known):

Caught in mid-scratch:

Before I know it, he's on the ground, coming over for some more personal attention:

Not to be outdone, as soon as he's on the floor, Max has to be on the floor, too.  I try to keep them on opposite sides of my chair, though yesterday, when I didn't have my camera with me, they were both ripping up the newspaper that's under Max's cage!

Beeps stays on his cage, as when he tries to venture down, Max goes after him.  He's happy, and I make sure to spend time with him everyday in a one-on-one situation.  After over 6 years of living together, I would have hoped they could be better friends!

A video of Beeps.  Every time after I do a certain whistle, he says "Pretty baby!" It sounds clear to me, but when he does this for visitors, they can't understand him.  (ETA: Apparently this video is not working.  Ever since blogger "improved" their interface, I have had trouble with videos.  This has been going on for years!  I will try to figure it out tomorrow.  For now, just imagine Beeps saying "pretty baby!" after I whistle.  This happens twice.)

When he saw me taking pictures of Beeps on his cage, Calypso had to climb to the same spot on his cage for attention:

However, he didn't do anything exciting enough to warrant a video!

With Calypso off of the floor, Max flew up to her favorite spot: the arm of my chair, where I scratch her head while reading:

I am currently reading "In the Garden of Beasts" by Erik Larson.  It's about the American ambassador to Berlin during Hitler's rise to power, prior to World War II.  It's non-fiction that reads like fascinating fiction.  Highly recommended!

Tomorrow I am running a marathon.  I have not been doing much speed work, so I am not anticipating that great of a result.  Additionally, the weather forecast is not fabulous.  It will be that terrible in-between weather that is so difficult to dress for!  I am maintaining a good attitude and determined to have fun, even if I'll be slower than last year.

Rivalry!

When our first family was still intact, Max and Calypso got along.  They certainly weren't friendly, but they never attacked each other.  Now that we're a smaller flock, that's changed.

Max has developed an animosity toward Calypso, as evidenced here:

I knew she wouldn't hurt him with me watching, which is why I took this video.  It just cracks me up how she tries to use tools (the hanging toy) to hit him.

As a single lady, this has become quite the challenge.  Max hates the caiques.  The caiques hate each other.  I am only one person!  It is very challenging to have them out at the same time.

I plan to buy a house in the next few months, and I'm hoping them to design a space that works for my parrots.

Hormonal caique? Oh, yes!

I received this question in the comments, which I will answer below:

I found your blog while looking for approaches to handling my hormonal caique. Do you know of any dietary options by chance?

The bird's hatch date is 12/19/09, and this year she's been on an extended celebration. I've had her since May '10 or so. "Her" isn't formally confirmed; breeder's guess by feeling the pelvic bones.

Her diet is a variety of fruit/veggies in the morning and access to a grain mix during the day.

Other than a recent plumbing disaster (variety of chemicals used, cutting a drain pipe, etc.), and a family visit during the holidays, no changes to our normal routine. It's been several days of return to normalcy, but aggressive behavior has intensified.

The bird is normally cage-free, with a bull terrier in the house (equally cage-free). Lately, they've been going at each other, with the bird instigating. The bird isn't clipped, and the dog is sufficiently well-behaved, so it hasn't been a concern in the past; however, the bird hasn't been provoking the dog to this degree before. Typically, it's the other way around.

With me, behavior is a roller-coaster. I can tolerate occasional beaking, but a love-bite on the lip from a reach-around lunge off my shoulder that I can't see coming is a bit much.

I grab her following incidents (to prevent further damage - to me) and deposit her in the cage, leaving the room. She then is pretty insistent on calling me back. When I come back, I can see the typical signs of an aggressive posture. If I open the cage and tell her to step up, she will and very shortly attempt to attack.

Any suggestions appreciated.

Hello, and welcome to the world of mature caiques.  As always, I must disclaim that every bird is an individual, but over my years of parrot ownership and volunteering at the rescue, I have done as much research as I could to try to give my parrots the best captive life I could, so I feel comfortable making generalizations, which I will do here, though of course it does not apply to every individual of the species. 

There used to be a good site about caiques that appears to no longer be available online.  I remember very vividly the line "biting is one of the downsides of caique ownership."  I've found that to be true, to a point.  The site also mentioned that they tend not to do well with other animals in the house, but I'll get into that more down below.

One of the great things about caiques is that typically they are very expressive, so once you get to know their body language, you can usually avoid bites by not trying to handle them when they are agitated.

I have two teenage male caiques, Calypso (18; I've had him 9 years) and Beeps (14; I've had him 6 years.)  Calypso has never bitten me, though he had bitten my ex-husband in the past.  He also postures as though he will bite me occasionally when I ask him to step up.  Instead of forcing him, I leave him be and try again later.  He is also trained to step up on a stick in case I absolutely needed to move him.  I believe Calypso is quite an anomaly among caiques with regards to biting, and I feel very lucky!

Beeps, on the other hand, gets worked up quite a bit.  He is very difficult to handle for a few months every year -- typically this has been December - February -- and then his sweet personality returns for the spring, summer, and fall.  He also has triggers; things that will set him off.  For example,  the container in which I keep my lizard's food incites Beeps to launch flying attacks at me, so I always make sure Beeps is locked in his cage before I feed Andreas.

What you've described sounds like it may be hormonal biting.

You can certainly try experimenting with different foods.  If you do that, I'd recommend keeping a journal so you can see if there are any correlations between what she eats and her behavior.  I tried with Beeps in the past, but never noticed any difference.  Some people recommend using cooled chamomile tea in place of water to help calm an agitated bird down.  Once again, this never made any difference for me.

The first thing I recommend is to make sure to keep the caique and the dog separate.  Sadly, I have known dozens of birds killed by the family pet (I come into contact with a lot of people at the parrot rescue.)  Every time, the story starts out "they always got along..." and usually involves "the bird always flew out of reach before" and "the dog/cat is so well-natured.  I can't believe it!"  I feel the risk is just far too great.  When instincts are involved, it only takes a second, and even careful supervision can't stop a tragedy from happening (I lost a dear budgie in 2011 to another animal when I was carefully supervising.  I wasn't fast enough and instead had a front-row seat to the tragedy.  I so wish I would have enforced true separation that would have saved his life.)

Additionally, it sounds like perhaps your caique has chosen you as her mate, and so she feels the need to drive her competition (the dog) out of the way, so separation may help calm down the hormones.

You mention that she is normally cage-free.  Does she have a cage where she sleeps and spends some time?  Birds really do best with routine and some limits.  Cages are not punishments.  My birds love their cages and will frequently go inside them during the day.  Perhaps she needs to get started on a routine that involves cage time.  Mine do best with 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night, and I see a definite difference in behavior.  How much sleep is she getting?  (Dark, uninterrupted; not with someone watching TV in the same room.)

What you do when she bites may actually be reinforcing to her, as she gets attention immediately when you pick her up.  It's likely she does not realize that her behavior caused her to be put in her cage, since it's too far removed, and she was already rewarded by your attention.  Then, she calls to you, as a lone bird in the wild is most likely a dead bird.  They are flock animals and only a few generations removed from the wild, so with all of the instincts that serve them well in the jungle but not as well in our living rooms.

What you want to try to do is learn her body language and prevent bites.  With Calypso, if I offer him my hand, he'll either step up nicely or he'll make a squealing fuss.  If it's the latter, he's probably going to bite.  So I either leave him alone until he's calmed down and try again, or, if I need to move him somewhere, I'll use a stick. 

With Beeps, things are a bit more interesting.  As background, both caiques are unclipped, but only Beeps really flies.  I noticed that right before he'd bite, his eyes would start to flash.  I watched him carefully, and as soon as I saw his eyes flash, I'd point to his cage and tell him to go inside.  He'd fly there from wherever he was, go inside, I'd shut the cage door, and then he'd have his meltdown.  After a few months of this, he started to go inside his cage on his own when he felt a meltdown happening.  I need to pay attention and shut him inside until he calms down, otherwise he may come out of his cage and launch an attack.  He's also stick-trained, should I need him to go somewhere he doesn't want to fly to.

I truly believe that they want to behave, but sometimes they can't control their behavior!

Another thing that may help is exercise.  You can develop games to have her flying around.  In the wild, they'd be flying and exercising their excess energy away.  Here, they just don't do that, so it often manifests itself in undesirable behaviors, like attacking.  Get her panting.  This could be having her on your hand when you go up and down (this is what I do with Beeps), or assisted flying (this is Calypso's favorite.  I cup my hands under his chest and we "fly" around my apartment, with me running.)  Since she flies, you can put her on her stand and call her to you (this is how I exercise my grey.)  There are a million ways (maybe not quite that many!) that you can exercise her, so find a way that is fun for both of you!

I'd also recommend keeping her brain stimulated.  In my house, we do trick training using a clicker.  They love it, and it's a positive way for them to expend some mental energy.

It sounds like you allow her on your shoulder, based on one of your comments.  I know that many, if not most, parrot owners encourage this.  However, I do not at all.  If I were queen of captive parrots, this is something that no one would do!  And especially not with a parrot who has ever shown hormonal tendencies or has ever bitten anyone (so, pretty much all parrots.)  Possibly excepting budgies and tiels.

Here's why: you can't see their body language, so it's very easy to all of a sudden get a face bite "out of nowhere" when the bird had been giving warnings that could have prevented it.

I have personally witnessed a macaw bite a chunk of cartilage out of someone's ear.  He was on his favorite person's shoulder and gave him a warning.  In the wild, he'd get a beak full of feathers and his communication would have been proper.  In captivity, he can do major damage and might lose his home.  I have also seen and known many people who have had to get stitches for a facial bite.  The risk is just far too high, and usually it's the bird that ends up losing.  Once again, far better to prevent than to react.

As I am rambling on, as usual, here is a quick summary, with a few extras:

1. Keep bird and dog separate at all times.

2. 12 hours of dark, uninterrupted sleep every night.

3. Watch body language closely and prevent (rather than react to) bites.

4. Develop another way to handle her when she's agitated (e.g. stick train.)

5. Exercise until she's panting, several times a day.

6. Keep her brain stimulated (e.g. trick training.)

7. Absolutely no shoulders.

8. Keep all petting (if any) to the head only.  Absolutely no petting below the neck, under the wings, etc.  You are turning her on and making promises you can't keep.  No playing on/under blankets.  No nest boxes or anything that might approximate one.

9. Do not feed warm, mushy foods.

Good luck!  I do hope this calms down soon, but you may need to realize that you will have a few months every year with limited physical interaction with her.  This is the case for Beeps and me, but once his hormonal season has ended, our relationship returns to what it was before the hormones kicked in.  Other people may chime in with additional thoughts, and I will add anything here if I think of something else to say!

Christmas present

I put up my Christmas tree today (first time in over a decade!) Next year, I hope to be in a house and have a larger tree, but this little guy (on loan from a friend) fits perfectly in my apartment!

I'm hoping to get the parrots to pose as ornaments, along with the rest of the bird ornaments I have on the tree, but they are not there yet. For now, I will have to be happy with Calypso kind of posing as a present (but mostly trying to get back to me!)

Mid-September Update

Hello my dear blog friends,

Yet again, a month has gone by with very few posts and very few pictures taken. I intend to get back to a more normal posting schedule soon, but I've been intending to do so for months now! In any case, please do not take my silence for despair or sadness; on the contrary, things are great!

I think part of me didn't want to post because Thomas knows about the blog and I didn't want him knowing what's going on with my life. But then I realized that he just doesn't care. It kind of boggles my mind, but it's true.  He is never going to check the blog, because we are all dead to him.  So I can write whatever I want!

During one of the last times I had to speak with him, about selling the house (It's final and sold!) I mentioned that Rocky had been adopted and asked if he wanted to know about his new family, and he flat out said no, that he didn't care.

I'm not sure if this is false bravado after realizing that he's lost the only beings who ever loved him (me, my family, and the parrots) or if he really doesn't care, but I'm leaning toward the latter.  I've done a ton of reading on people with personality disorders, so I can understand, on an intellectual level, what is going on with him, but it's still hard for me to really understand what it's like to live that way.

In any case, after making that realization, I now feel safe to post.

The parrots are all doing extremely well.  My job is more demanding of my time, so I don't have as much time to spend with them as I'd like, but they are adjusting.

Here's a picture of Calypso, when he went from his stand to the plant that was next to his stand.  Luckily for him, it is perch-like as I did a bad job of rotating it so it didn't grow evenly!

Max is as sweet as ever.  She loves wandering around the house, looking for me.  She's kind of like a dog that way.  I figure it's good exercise for her, and since it's just me in the house, I don't have to worry about her getting stepped on.  Usually she flies, so she can land on my arm, but sometimes she walks.

Here she is after a bath a couple of days ago.  My mom and I were painting, and Max decided to keep us company.

As for me, work is going really, really well.  Long hours, but I knew that going in.  When Thomas left us just as I'd finished paying for him to go to medical school, right before he was to start actually contributing to the household, and just after I found out I was losing my well-paying job, I was a bit worried about what kind of job I'd be able to find and how I'd be able to support us, since cheaper places wouldn't allow birds.  I am happy to say that I have landed on my feet.  I will most likely buy a house in the spring, and I can't wait to make it all mine!  And the parrots', of course!

I love our new neighborhood!  I can go weeks without using my car, as I usually walk or take the bus to work, and grocery shopping, many of my friends, and tons of things to do are within a half mile of my apartment.  My bike is currently being fixed up, and then I will become a bicycle commuter.  I can't wait!

I have been dating a bit -- a lot of bad first dates -- I will have to relay some of the stories here in the future.  But I've recently met someone who is a bit promising.  It's still really early on, but we laugh for hours, have tons in common, and he is super good-looking!  And he lives less than a mile from me! 

The last 7 or so years of my marriage, I can't remember Thomas complimenting me.  Medical school, residency, and fellowship changed him.  He'd tell me I was fat (I'm a size 4), or that I was ugly and looked like a man (not true) -- which I laughed off as I thought he was joking.  But now I think that he was serious and trying to make me unhappy because he is a fundamentally unhappy person and misery loves company.  It's so great to be around friends and family that are so nice to me!  I was trying to think of the last time someone was mean to me, and I couldn't remember.  It had to have been Thomas, but it's so insignificant now that I can't even remember the specific incident.

Sometimes I get angry at myself for staying in a bad marriage for so long.  I thought I was happy, and I didn't recognize it as a bad marriage.  Why did I not realize when I was being verbally and emotionally abused?  My therapist told me it was like I was in a one-man cult, and I'm such a happy, positive person that I didn't let it get me down.  But that I have to be very careful in recognizing red flags and acting on them so that I don't waste more years in another terrible relationship, with someone who doesn't deserve me.  I have done so much reading and introspection, and I'm glad that I got out when I was young enough to create a new, wonderful life for myself.

Anyway, by putting this out on the blog, I am hoping to start regular posting again.  I love being able to go back throughout the years and see what I was doing this time of year in 2009, for example, and the future me will probably be upset with the present me for not writing regularly!

Caique gymnastics

Gold medal performance!

A little Calypso

Earlier this week, I realized that one of my plants had grown toward the sun in such a way that the stem has become nearly horizontal.

Since Calypso was the closest parrot to me, and he is also the most compliant, I put him on the plant and took a picture.  He seemed to like it for a few minutes, but then tired of it and climbed down to step on my hand.

Here he is, eating a strawberry.  Normally, I'd cut it up, but was feeling lazy, so just gave him the entire berry.  Neither Max nor Beeps felt like having any.  As a special bonus, he smelled like strawberries for the rest of the night, so when I kissed the top of his head, I had an olfactory treat!

Flock dynamics and life

If you can believe it, it's been nearly 4 months (!) since I've been in my new apartment. I have a hard time believing it's been so long.  My lease is over 1/3 over, which is exciting as I hope to buy a house next spring.  I am tired of worrying about the parrots making too much noise for the neighbors, and I'd like to be able to take Basil back when needed.  (But my house in the suburbs, which is on the market, needs to sell first.)

The parrots and I are acclimating well.  We love our new neighborhood.  Beeps loves to fly to the windowsills and watch all of the activity below.  Then he yells "pretty baby!" at the passers-by, but I don't think anyone but me can understand him.

I had hoped that my reduced flock would get along better, but Max and Calypso still attempt to drive Beeps from the area.  I have to be very careful to make sure he doesn't get injured.  Most nights, Max and Calypso play on the stand, like here:

while Beeps hangs out on my leg, under my protection.  I still don't understand how Max can be fine with Calypso but harbor such an extreme hatred for Beeps -- they are both male teenage caiques!  Get along!

All three of the parrots have had to acclimate to sleep cages.  They had been getting up with the sun -- near 5 am -- and beeping, whistling, and yelling, "Good morning!  Wanna get up!" which I'm sure my neighbors didn't appreciate!  And since I can't change my window trimmings due to my lease, I had to take other steps.

Previous to sleep cages, I had been getting up at 5 every morning and putting them into their (covered) carriers, which was obviously not sustainable.  Now I can finally get a full night's sleep!

I'll try to get a picture up, but they now love their sleep cages, which is nice, as they'll be able to take them with them if they have to board at my parents' house when I go on vacation.  If that ever happens :)

Once again, I am amazed at the resiliency of parrots.  Basil and Stella continue to do well in their homes.  Rocky is even enjoying it at the rescue (he has still not been adopted.)  And Max, Calypso, and Beeps have acclimated far better than I ever imagined.

In fact, before, when I'd ask Max for a kiss, she'd usually make one kiss sound.  Every since I've been single, she responds with TWO kiss sounds.  Somehow, she knows!

Bath time, and after

At my new apartment, I have a ledge in my shower, which allows my parrots to perch there, like this:

One time last month, I was taking a bath, and Calypso was on the ledge, as Max is, above.  He was beeping and being quite loud, which is less acceptable now that we live in an apartment and need to not get evicted.

To quiet him down, I placed him on the edge of the tub, so he'd be closer to me.  This worked, but once I'd exited the tub, he started goofing around and fell into the tub, still full of water as I'd only started draining it.  I grabbed him out, but he was soaked.

This required me to wrap him up in a towel and dry him off, which he didn't mind at all (good thing this wasn't Max, as she would not have tolerated such behavior on my part!)

I made a little video of him, as he is just so adorable.  I love it when he makes his big kiss noises, and I *think* he might be saying "kiss" and/or "Calypso," though he garbles a lot, so it just sounds like nonsense.

He is the happiest of all of us about Thomas no longer being in our lives.  Maybe someday I will be able to get to that level of happiness about being alone!

Unacceptable!

Some unacceptable things that have happened in my new apartment:

Max on my breakfast table, chewing up my newspaper:

Max, drinking water out of Beeps's cage, while Beeps is still in his cage!  (They don't get along at all, and she was removed as soon as I took this picture):

I didn't have a table for the first couple of days, so I was eating breakfast on the floor.  The parrots were in their room.  I left for a short period of time, and found Calypso helping himself, and Max not far behind (she is at the top of this picture.)

And, not to leave me out of my unacceptable list: most of this stuff is now unpacked since it's been three weeks, but I still have more to go.  I need to get motivated!

Max stalks Calypso

I can't believe that I've not yet posted in February!  I guess I haven't been taking as many pictures as usual, but the parrots and I are doing really well.

Sometime earlier this month, I had made tortellini, which meant each of the parrots got a noodle.

Beeps had to eat his in his cage as he was extremely hormonal and trying to attack both of his flockmates:

Max finished her first, so then she started to stalk Calypso, who is more careful and doesn't waste his food by throwing it on the floor after one bite:

Finally, he threw his on the floor as well:

Max had been trying to knock him off of the stand with the toy, but she gave up after she realized that she couldn't get to him with the toy.  He's just too short!

As you can see, finally she gave up and came over to me for some attention instead.

Clingy caiques

The caiques continue their clingy ways.  Max has, too, though I don't have any pictures of her.  I suspect they can sense things aren't right with Thomas, so they are seeking reassurance from someone that actually loves them.

The problem with clingy caiques is that they don't really get along, but if they are both near me, they are rather close to each other, which means they have to be on alert and maybe attack each other.  I do my best to keep them as separated as possible!

Calypso, on the table (he had been eating my breakfast right before I took this picture) and Beeps, on my lap:

And Beeps, again on my lap.  I find it is pretty safe to keep him here as he's a bit lower so Max and Calypso have a harder time trying to get him.  He has been so incredibly loving lately, I really am going to try to find a place that will allow me to keep him as well.

I hope that once we get into an apartment and establish a new normal, they will go back to being more independent.  It was really tough cooking tonight when Beeps kept flying to me and the others were walking around, pecking at my feet, and begging to be picked up!

I feel like I should give a personal update at the end of each entry for the foreseeable future.  Things continue to go well.  My best friend and I went to dinner yesterday and then saw the movie Anonymous.  It was only $1 for the show!  And it was a really good movie.  Of course, I love historical fiction films that take place in Tudor England so I am biased.  Tonight, I met my dad for a college basketball game at his alma mater.  Unfortunately, they lost, but we had a great time.  My divorce is resulting in much more bonding with my family and friends!

On the job front, there has been an interesting development with the job that I talked about earlier that said they wanted to go in a different direction.  The second in command called my recruiter and said she wanted to talk to me about possibly taking the position even though her boss thought I didn't have enough supervisory experience.  Isn't that strange?  I don't know what will happen, but I'll update here.  How can the second in command go behind the first in command's back?  I wasn't very high on this job in the first place, and I refuse to be anyone second choice (see: my marriage) but I will listen to what she had to say.  I had a phone interview yesterday and I have one tomorrow.  The one tomorrow is with a company that I'm super excited about, so hopefully all goes well.

And, in somewhat exciting news, I have a date on Thursday!  It is my first first date since 1998!  I know it's probably too early to date, but he knows I'm not interested in anything serious.  He's a friend of a friend and we've been exchanging e-mails for a few days.  We get along really well via e-mail so we're going for coffee Thursday evening.

Countdown: only 4 more nights under the same roof as Thomas and since he was already in bed when I came home tonight, I'm not sure I should count tonight, which brings us to 3.  It's so close!!!  The negative energy of the dark cloud of doom and gloom has only limited time remaining here.

Butternut squash and the parrots

One of the things I'm really looking forward to as a single person is experimenting more with cooking. Thomas was so strange and didn't really like to try new things. He was also very critical when I'd try something and it didn't work out. With me and the parrots as my only critic now, I can't lose!

Yesterday, I decided I'd better use up a butternut squash I'd had for a few weeks:

I may have to see if I can get this frozen instead.  It's a lot of work to turn the above into the below!

I modified a recipe I found online.  It needs some more work, but I was pretty excited out the first try.  Once I get it better, I'll post the recipe.

Another exciting thing about being single is that what used to be a meal for one evening now becomes three meals!  This will be helpful if I need to bring lunch at my next job.

Ready to serve it up:

I got some ringing endorsements:

Back for more:

It appears that all that squash makes her thirsty for some water:

Beeps had some as well, but he's become extremely camera-aggressive, so I let him eat his dinner in peace!  Max and Calypso have been hanging out with me in the kitchen while Beeps keeps to himself in the living room mostly.

Yesterday, someone asked about Beeps.  I am still looking for a home for him, but I haven't actually done anything other than think about it!  I need to get going, but sometimes it's hard to motivate myself.  I will try to contact the person who said earlier this month they might be interested in him to see if it might work.  He's such a great guy, it just makes me so sad to think about losing him as well.

I had a meeting tonight.  I am the volunteer treasurer of a nonprofit nature organization.  In months past, Thomas would make a big deal out of me being gone in the evening, so these meetings became extremely stressful for me, even though I strongly believe in the cause.  It was so peaceful today on the drive home to know that I would only be met with the happy whistles and exclamations of the parrots!

And, the parrots didn't disappoint.  I was so devastated when I found out about the affair, but I am starting to realize that this might be one of the best things that could have happened.  Of course I am sad about the animals that I am rehoming.  They will stay in my heart forever and I hope to keep tabs on them for the rest of their lives.  Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future.  Until then, I know that much happiness awaits me and I am so excited to start my new life!

Max and Calypso explore my bedroom

Max and Calypso are settling into their roles in a reduced flock.  I think they are both pretty excited to have more attention from me.  Calypso, in particular, is happy that Thomas isn't around as much.  He's always climbing down from his cage to come and find me.  When Thomas was around, he didn't feel comfortable enough to do that.  It's exciting to see him come out of his shell more.

Yesterday, I was packing to spend the evening with my parents.  Max flew to the stairs and then walked up the rest of the stairs to find me in the bedroom.  Calypso walked to the bottom of the stairs and then beeped expectantly until I brought him up as well.

The two of them wandered over my (as yet unmade) bed while I packed.  They were good supervisors:

Calypso eventually made it over to my pillow, which reminded me of the Arrested Development episode where Buster was upset because there was a (wild) bird on his pillow.  I wasn't upset by the bird on mine, though!  I thought it was cute.

I predict that the three of us have many good times ahead!

Parrot breakfast

With everything going on in my personal life, I probably haven't been as attentive to the parrots as I had in the past.  I am making a conscious effort to change that!  Max and Calypso were out with my for breakfast.

Max cheered my up by eating with gusto from her spoon:

My boss bought the juciest, most delicious oranges he'd ever had, and was nice enough to bring me one.  Calypso was one of the lucky beneficiaries.  He got every last bit of juice out of the orange section:

The three of us are looking forward to starting our new life together!

Saturday

I had a great morning!  I met one of my favorite running partners and we had a great chat for 2 hours as we ran.  I have signed up to do a 50 kilometer (31 mile) race in May, so I need to get out and do some longer distances than I have the past few months to train.  I ran 15.1 miles this morning, which put me at 40 miles for the week and allows for an extra beer with dinner tonight :)  I don't even want to contemplate what my mental state would be without running.

I have been trying to avoid Thomas as much as possible.  I stayed in bed until after he left for his run and I left for mine a bit early so I wouldn't be here when he returned.  Unfortunately, there's about a 0.2 mile section where I would be going out and he would be coming home that we could run into each other.  I mean, what are the chances?  100% in this case.  I just waved to him, as I would any other runner.  He has become someone that I used to know.

Then, I met my mom for lunch and some shopping.  We had a great afternoon!  I had a phone interview for a job yesterday (my current job ends on March 31) and found out that they want me to come in for an in-person interview next week, so I had to get a new suit, which my mom bought for me.  The last time I wore a suit was in 2003 and I'd already donated my old suits, thinking I'd never have to wear one again.  (You know...I put Thomas through medical school and then he allows me to follow my dream of going back to school or working or starting my own nonprofit.  I held up my end of the bargain...)  I also bought another pair of pants since I only had one pair that fit me, having lost weight due to the stress of my impending divorce.

I came home and spent some time boxing things up and getting ready to move more things to my parents' house.  I want to get down to just the essentials here in case Thomas gets violent and I have to quickly leave the house.  That's part of the reason I'm trying to get the animals placed as soon as possible, with smaller, temporary cages at my parents' house if Max and Calypso have to stay there until I get an apartment.

Almost real-time blogging; these pictures were taken about 30 minutes ago.  Thomas is currently out on a date with his married mistress; the parrots and I are enjoying an evening at home.  We hope he stays out until they go to bed and I go upstairs to my room.

Calypso, who does not realize his dreams are about to come true and he will soon be rid of Thomas forever:

Max, who knows something is up and has been extra loving to me in an attempt to reassure herself everything will be OK:

Basil, who returns to his home a week from today.  He loves his owners, so will be very happy to see them again.  The plan is for him still to be willed to me at some point.  I can't keep him now because he's too loud for an apartment, but by the time he needs to be rehomed, hopefully I will be in a house and he can come back to me:

Beeps, who is reacting to the stress in the house by being increasingly aggressive, but just to Thomas (and when he sees the camera, as usual):

I've gotten daily updates and pictures on Stella.  She is doing remarkably well in her new home.  She always seemed to want to befriend Max, but Max was not interested.  In her new home, Stella's grey companion, Ellie, appears to want to be friends, so we're hopeful things will go well.  Additionally, she lives with a severe macaw who loves greys.  When he was at the rescue where I volunteer, I'd take him around with me to greet the parrots.  He'd ignore everyone except the greys.  When we'd stop by a grey's cage, he'd blush a bit and say "hi!  hello!" and flirt a bit.  He's enjoying his little grey harem (from afar -- they don't physically interact, he just talks to them.)

Rocky is doing really well at the rescue.  I visited him on Thursday but forgot to take pictures.  He's housed next to a female severe macaw, and the two of them go to the bottom of their respective cages and interact.  I took him out and he seemed rather happy to see me.  He was talking, singing, and dancing.  He's extremely resilient and will be OK.  He's enjoying the activity of the rescue and I will be involved in finding him a great home.

Thomas has not asked about Rocky or Stella at all and has basically ignored the parrots we still have at home. It's so strange how someone can change so much, or possibly that they were able to hide for so long and then reveal their true self.  He fooled me for years, but now that I look back on things, they weren't as great as I thought they were.  I am doing some writing exercises to understand our relationship and heal.  One was to come up with 5 nice things he'd done for me over the course of our relationship and then 5 upsetting things.  I could only come up with about 3 nice things and stopped at about 32 upsetting things before I realized I was supposed to stop at 5!

I just rationalized and made excuses for a lot of his behavior.  I'm pretty sure he has a combination of narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder, so I'm pretty lucky to be able to get out and start anew.  It's just too bad that the parrots are affected by his behavior.

My friends, both online and in real life, have been amazing.  Even my massage therapist has been calling to make sure I'm OK and gave me his cell phone number in case I ever need to chat.  My mom and I have made tentative plans to go to Europe once the divorce is final (possibly with my dad and sister), and my favorite running partner is going to hook me up with one of her friends who loves to go birding and would like a companion.  2012 is going to be a fantastic year!