Sleep cages!

It doesn't look like I posted about this last summer when I bought them, but due to the fact that I am living in an apartment and wanted to not get kicked out due to the parrots awakening with the sun, I bought them sleep cages.  Their normal cages are too big for me to properly cover, so this was my solution.

I was a little worried about how they would take to them, but they all love them!  I was also a little worried about putting them together myself, but I am discovering new skills of assembly I never had to use before.

Since they each get a cashew before bed, after they go into their sleep cages, Max will actually climb down and go into hers by herself.  She also knows to open the door on the caiques' cages (I don't latch them when they are unoccupied) to see if either caique left some cashew uneaten.  Occasionally, she is rewarded for this thoroughness.

Here's Beeps:

Max:

And Calypso:

I cover them, so it's dark, which allows me to keep things quiet until I wake them up.

During the day, when they are out with me, they like to play on the cages.  Calypso spent quite a while trying to rip up the cage paper through the grate today.  The reason I went to grab my camera is that Beeps actually went into this cage with Calypso on top.  I had hoped to get a picture of that, but he'd flown back to his cage by the time I returned with the camera.

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In unrelated news, the offer I put in on the house was accepted!  The inspection is on Wednesday May 1, and if all goes well, I will be the owner of a fabulous Victorian -- my dream house -- by June 15.  I'm going to try to remember to take some pictures on Wednesday so I can post them here.

This is all so exciting.  I can't wait to have a guest bedroom.  And, my dad asked if I would be interested in brewing beer with him once I have a house.  That's a hobby that Thomas and I shared, and I'd given it up once I was alone.  Now that I'll have a bigger kitchen, I can't wait to brew with my dad!

At the art museum

I go to my city's art museum on a semi-regular basis.  I love art, and now that I've started painting after my separation/divorce, I like to look for inspiration.  Sometimes I go alone, but sometimes I go with friends.  One of the great things about my new single life is getting to spend more time with friends.

My good friend and I went to a wonderful new restaurant, just a couple of blocks from my apartment.  I had a homemade veggie burger:

Then, on to the art museum.  They were having a special exhibition, where floral artists are assigned pieces in the collection, and they create an arrangement inspired by the art.  Super fun!

Unfortunately, this was not one of the pieces that had art inspired by it, but: parrot in the museum!

This one made me laugh!  It's in my dad's favorite part of the art museum: self-taught art.

Part of the permanent exhibit: metal birds!  I did buy an outside metal ornament that had a bird on it.  Once it's installed in my garden, I will post it.

Not wanting to jinx things, but I have put in an offer on a house!  It's so fabulous, but if I don't get this house, I'll find another.  This house has so much character -- stained glass windows, built-ins, a fabulous staircase, double door entry (for parrot safety), laundry not in the basement.  The parrots and are tired of living in an apartment, and we are excited to be in our own place where we can be as loud as we'd like again!

The weather has improved, which means I've been bicycle commuting most days.  I had to stop to take pictures of mergansers ("mohawk-ducks" as my good friend Sheila says.)  Unfortunately, all of my closer pictures were fuzzy, and the mergansers all dispersed while I got my camera ready.  You'll just have to take my word that they're not mallards.

Tomorrow, I am running my last long run before my May ultramarathon.  I'm hoping the weather will cooperate!  Last week, during my long run, it started snowing!  In April!  Then, another friend and I (she's running with me tomorrow morning) are going for pedicures.  They will be well-deserved, for sure.  And, the salon is close enough so we can walk and, therefore, drink wine.  So exciting!

In which Max is loving

Sometimes Max is so wonderful!

Actually, most of the time. I am really lucky to have such a fabulous parrot.

Tonight, she was on her stand and I was at the table.  She flew down to request head pets.  How could I deny her?

And a wonderful bonding experience resulted:

I am very careful to stick to her head, so that I don't send her improper signals!

I really hope that everyone feels this way about their own parrots, but I feel so lucky with mine.  They weathered losing one of their owners with grace and strength.  They are as happy and wonderful as ever.  In just a few months, I will have had Max longer than I will have been married!  Having this amazing bond with such a sensitive, wonderful creature humbles me.  I pity Thomas, who so easily gave her up.  What could he possibly have been thinking?

In which Max is ornery

A few weeks ago, my very dear friend Paula sent me a care package. We have not (yet!) met, but her husband cheated on her and we've developed a love-at-first-sight kind of friendship.  This package involved about 30 bird Christmas tree ornaments, in addition to other things, as well as some packaging peanuts. 

Max had been destroying the peanuts, and I wanted to make a video so Paula could see how much happiness she'd brought to our house, even with things not intended to cause happiness!  Of course, as soon as I tried to tape it, Max decided to throw the peanuts away instead of chewing them up.

And then I tried with some wood, to the same effect:

I told her she would irritate our downstairs neighbors, but I was just joking.  They are university students, and they are just fantastic.  They love the parrots, especially the guy who plays bass, as the parrots start dancing, and this makes him laugh.

Winter hiking

I went on a date this afternoon with a man who loves being out in nature as much as I do! His degree is in something nature-related, and he works in the local parks system. As I waited for him to arrive at the park, I was treated to three deer walking by the parking lot:

The sky was so blue today, it almost looked like it could be summer.  If only there were leaves on the trees and no snow on the lookout guardrail!  (Oh, summer, please get here soon!  I am already sick of the cold!)

At least the snow is beautiful:

So gorgeous:

And even more so as the sun began to set:

It was so fun to go out hiking again!  It had been a few months since I'd been out, and I've really missed it.  I have made it a goal for 2013 to spend more time on the trails.  Mr. Nature and I have tentative plans to go out hiking again.

We did see two red-tailed hawks circling and then swooping near us, which was fun.  He's more into plants than birds, but I told him that birds are much more interesting to watch!

It was so refreshing to have delightful conversation, and to be with someone who pleasantly greeted other hikers we encountered.  My new beginning reinforces all that I'd been missing out on this past decade!

Max finds a new favorite artist

Last month, a friend called and asked me if I wanted to see Father John Misty perform.  I had never heard of him, but I decided to go.  Even though it was in a city over an hour away and it started at 10 pm on a work night!  Her friend had canceled on her at the last minute and she didn't want to go alone.

I loved it!  He was such a great performer (I might have picked up some new dance moves) and the music was great as well.  I purchased his CD and have been listening to it quite a bit.  One of the few albums that I love front to back.

I never know what music will strike Max's fancy. Sometimes I need to encourage her to dance, but sometimes she just likes the way something sounds.  She loves Father John Misty! 

Had I thought to take a video at the beginning on the evening, she would have been even more enthusiastic -- I think she was getting a bit tired here:

One of my new good friends works at the organization that comprises the three best concert venues in town, so I have been going to so many concerts these past few months.  I had forgotten how much I love to see live music!  This weekend, another friend and I are going to see a Queen tribute band.  Apparently the lead singer really channels Freddie Mercury.  I can't wait!

I'm alive! And actually fabulous!

Thanks to those of you who have posted, wondering how I am.  It's hard to believe, but in less than a week, it's the one year anniversary of finding out Thomas was cheating on me!

This should have been the worst year of my life, but it's turned out to be one of, if not, the best!  When you're married to an anti-social, emotionally abusive person, reality can get a bit skewed, to say the least!  I never would have left him, as marriage is forever in my mind, so in a very odd way, I have become grateful that he cheated on me so that I could reevaluate and really start living life.

Of course, I really wish that he were even half the man I made him out to be in my mind, or even that he could have given me a small inkling that he was unhappy so we could have tried to save the marriage; barring that, I wish that he hadn't been able to legally steal so much money from me in the divorce, but I am young and will rebuild!

I'd fallen out of the habit of posting, and now I'm sad that I don't have a better record of the past year, which means that one of my goals for 2013 will be to get much better at updating the blog.

Everyone is doing really well.  We've established our new routines, and the parrots (and Andreas) are thriving.

After pretty much never going out during the past 13 years (see: anti-social husband), I've been making up for lost time.  I have plans most nights of the week, and have stayed out past 2 am more times this year than in the previous decade.

My family and friends have really stepped up.  I've made new friends, strengthened old friendships, and just enjoyed not having to walk on eggshells or to attempt to placate someone who was incapable of happiness.  

My running continues to improve.  I again qualified for the Boston Marathon, and several friends and I are planning a trip out there for the 2014 race.  I haven't quite had enough time as I'd like for my other hobbies, but I still try to paint, knit, and read regularly.

Yesterday, I had a very promising first date with a lovely man.  He used to work with a very dear friend of mine.  As this blog is anonymous, I can admit that I spent far too much time convincing myself that it would be inappropriate for me to rip his shirt off in the restaurant. I'm still not sure I made the right decision to behave :)

And now I'm heading off to a friend's house.  She is making me dinner to thank me for helping her move earlier in the year.  The parrots are in bed, and all is calm and happy in the apartment.

More soon, promise!

September 21, 2012

I live in a very bicycle-friendly community now.  However, my bike has been broken (disintegrating tires, among other things) for the past four years.  After I moved out, I had always planned on fixing my bike, but I had never gotten around to it -- until recently!

I intended to have my bike shop take a picture of me with my new bike, but I forgot my camera, so I had to wait until I was back home.  I picked it up this evening, which means that starting Monday, I am a bicycle commuter!  One of my coworkers is also a bicycle commuter, and every day he stops by my office to ask if I've fixed my bike.  This has been going on for a couple of months, so he was shocked when I told him that starting Monday, I might see him on the bike path.

I only live about 2.5 miles from work, and I'm just a few blocks away from a really nice bike path that takes me right there, so I am really excited about this development.

Coming home from the bike shop, I forgot how much fun being on a bicycle can be!  I really should be doing much more cross-training instead of always running!  I have good intentions to start weight lifting again, doing yoga, etc., but running is really the only thing I do consistently.  And now 5 miles per work day of biking.

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Just to add a bit of parrot, here's Max, keeping an eye on things.  My apartment building was built around 100 years ago, so there was no such thing as open concept.  That means that even if we're just one room away (here: I'm in the kitchen; Max is in the dining room) she has to position herself carefully in order to watch me.

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I had my third date last night with this really fun guy.  We went to see the Queen documentary/concert movie (which I highly recommend.)  I am very sad that I was never able to see Freddie Mercury perform live, but they did such an amazing job remastering the concert footage that you'd never guess it was filmed nearly 30 years ago.

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And ending with someone who just thinks she might be one of the cutest parrots ever:

Actually she was probably trying to get me to give her a nut!

Mid-September Update

Hello my dear blog friends,

Yet again, a month has gone by with very few posts and very few pictures taken. I intend to get back to a more normal posting schedule soon, but I've been intending to do so for months now! In any case, please do not take my silence for despair or sadness; on the contrary, things are great!

I think part of me didn't want to post because Thomas knows about the blog and I didn't want him knowing what's going on with my life. But then I realized that he just doesn't care. It kind of boggles my mind, but it's true.  He is never going to check the blog, because we are all dead to him.  So I can write whatever I want!

During one of the last times I had to speak with him, about selling the house (It's final and sold!) I mentioned that Rocky had been adopted and asked if he wanted to know about his new family, and he flat out said no, that he didn't care.

I'm not sure if this is false bravado after realizing that he's lost the only beings who ever loved him (me, my family, and the parrots) or if he really doesn't care, but I'm leaning toward the latter.  I've done a ton of reading on people with personality disorders, so I can understand, on an intellectual level, what is going on with him, but it's still hard for me to really understand what it's like to live that way.

In any case, after making that realization, I now feel safe to post.

The parrots are all doing extremely well.  My job is more demanding of my time, so I don't have as much time to spend with them as I'd like, but they are adjusting.

Here's a picture of Calypso, when he went from his stand to the plant that was next to his stand.  Luckily for him, it is perch-like as I did a bad job of rotating it so it didn't grow evenly!

Max is as sweet as ever.  She loves wandering around the house, looking for me.  She's kind of like a dog that way.  I figure it's good exercise for her, and since it's just me in the house, I don't have to worry about her getting stepped on.  Usually she flies, so she can land on my arm, but sometimes she walks.

Here she is after a bath a couple of days ago.  My mom and I were painting, and Max decided to keep us company.

As for me, work is going really, really well.  Long hours, but I knew that going in.  When Thomas left us just as I'd finished paying for him to go to medical school, right before he was to start actually contributing to the household, and just after I found out I was losing my well-paying job, I was a bit worried about what kind of job I'd be able to find and how I'd be able to support us, since cheaper places wouldn't allow birds.  I am happy to say that I have landed on my feet.  I will most likely buy a house in the spring, and I can't wait to make it all mine!  And the parrots', of course!

I love our new neighborhood!  I can go weeks without using my car, as I usually walk or take the bus to work, and grocery shopping, many of my friends, and tons of things to do are within a half mile of my apartment.  My bike is currently being fixed up, and then I will become a bicycle commuter.  I can't wait!

I have been dating a bit -- a lot of bad first dates -- I will have to relay some of the stories here in the future.  But I've recently met someone who is a bit promising.  It's still really early on, but we laugh for hours, have tons in common, and he is super good-looking!  And he lives less than a mile from me! 

The last 7 or so years of my marriage, I can't remember Thomas complimenting me.  Medical school, residency, and fellowship changed him.  He'd tell me I was fat (I'm a size 4), or that I was ugly and looked like a man (not true) -- which I laughed off as I thought he was joking.  But now I think that he was serious and trying to make me unhappy because he is a fundamentally unhappy person and misery loves company.  It's so great to be around friends and family that are so nice to me!  I was trying to think of the last time someone was mean to me, and I couldn't remember.  It had to have been Thomas, but it's so insignificant now that I can't even remember the specific incident.

Sometimes I get angry at myself for staying in a bad marriage for so long.  I thought I was happy, and I didn't recognize it as a bad marriage.  Why did I not realize when I was being verbally and emotionally abused?  My therapist told me it was like I was in a one-man cult, and I'm such a happy, positive person that I didn't let it get me down.  But that I have to be very careful in recognizing red flags and acting on them so that I don't waste more years in another terrible relationship, with someone who doesn't deserve me.  I have done so much reading and introspection, and I'm glad that I got out when I was young enough to create a new, wonderful life for myself.

Anyway, by putting this out on the blog, I am hoping to start regular posting again.  I love being able to go back throughout the years and see what I was doing this time of year in 2009, for example, and the future me will probably be upset with the present me for not writing regularly!

Out and about

In my new single life, I have been making it a point to try to do lots of things that I always wanted to do, or do more often, but didn't while married.  I am trying to live my life the way I want to, and not the way that either society or someone else says that I should.

For example, I always wished that I could live my life without driving.  Whenever I went to Europe, I loved just walking and using public transportation.  In my new life, I take the bus or walk to work and just drive on weekends, when necessary.

Last weekend, my bus stop looked like a crime scene:

But it was just that a super fun professional bike race was in town (one block from my apartment!!!):

So they needed to make sure that if anyone crashed into the bus stop, they wouldn't be injured.  I saw one minor collision, where someone's pedal flew off, but both were able to stay upright.

I was spectating, and amazed at how many people walking by that I knew.  Great fun!

Then, on Tuesday, I went to a music festival with friends:

The horn player is wearing a Keith Van Horn jersey -- he was one of my favorite college players in the mid-90s.  I have several of his rookie cards and used to have a framed poster (gave it to Goodwill when I moved to my apartment.)  This band is playing at a festival in town next week, so I'll probably see them again soon.

Then, we saw fireworks.  Since either my camera isn't great, or I had it on the wrong setting, the fireworks looked like they were dancing:

This weekend, I have lots planned again. I am sad that I went AWOL from blogging so have not much to remember these past 7 months by (though these past 7 months were so painful and terrible, perhaps it's best if I don't remember them) so I really, truly, am going to try to blog more!

Another personal update

Time is yet again flying by, and more than a month has passed since my last blog entry.  I just can't believe it!  It's now been over 6 months since I found out about Thomas's infidelity and my entire life changed.

Our divorce was final last month.  The day itself was terrible.  I think that part of me had hoped, until it was final, that he would finally realize what he'd done and do anything to make it right and for us to get back together.  Being in court made me realize that would be impossible.

Since then (it's been about 3 weeks now), I've felt like a huge weight has been lifted off of me.  I am still sad about the way things turned out -- I feel like I wasted over a decade of my life -- but starting to get more excited about my new life.  I haven't even wanted to cry since then, whereas the month or so before the divorce, it felt like that's all I was doing.

Max, Calypso, Beeps, Andreas, and I are mostly settled into our new apartment.  We've been here almost three months now!  Our house is on the market, and there's been some interest, though no offers yet.  Thomas leaves next month for his new job which is in a city about three hours away from us.

I found out I was losing my job right before Thomas confessed his affair, which added to my stress.  However, I have found a very interesting new job -- have been there about 7 weeks now -- which is perfect in every respect except for the longish hours and inability to do personal things (like e-mail and blog) on my work computer.

All in all, it's been a very interesting, and mostly good, few months.  I am trying to look at being single again as a great opportunity to take a look at my life, decide what changes need to be made, and become a happier person.  I've found great solace in my family and friends, who have really stepped up and have been unbelievable support during this terrible time.

I still get regular updates on Basil, Stella, and Rocky.  The first two are doing really well in their homes, and Rocky appears to be happy at the rescue.  He's still looking for a home, and he's so difficult that he might stay at the rescue for quite some time until the right home can be found.  I had hopes that Thomas would take him, but even though he could more than afford to buy a house in his new city where this would be possible, he rented an apartment with a no pets clause.

I've still been running, and last month took first in my age group in an ultramarathon (3rd female overall -- a couple of 20-somethings beat me!) I have a few races scheduled in the upcoming months, and have been training.

I've had trouble finding enough time to paint, but I will get back to it soon, now that things are settling down a bit more at work.  I have no air conditioning, so it's been way too hot to knit, though I have projects lined up for when it cools down again.

I haven't been very good at taking pictures -- I just went through what was on my camera and they were all minute-long videos of my parrots that probably no one else would find interesting, so I'm not going to post them.  I will try to get some new parrot material soon!

Hope everyone has had a great 2012 so far!

What I'm listening to tonight...